you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
