We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
