I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
