loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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