God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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