physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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