There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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