The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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