Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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