whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
