I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
