I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
