Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
