We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
