sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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