Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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