Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
