wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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