After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
