You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
