I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
this hospital has no fireball
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
