I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
