Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
