I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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