Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
