he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
