if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
