You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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