Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
