I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
