I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
