is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize