erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
