Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think people are normalizing furries
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
