i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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