i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
