Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
