Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
