i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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