He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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