My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
