ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
