Christians are straight up FREAKS
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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