Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
