OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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