and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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