god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
