I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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