dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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