WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
