Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
